Dear Pam, Stephen, Donald, and Ava,

My heart breaks at Addie's passing. I have known her my whole life. Our grandmothers were girlhood friends from Far Rockaway, and Addie and my father, Roger Merrill, were also life-long friends.

After they both got married (Addie to Don Hurst, my dad to my mom, Zada), their friendship evolved into regular family feasts featuring the finest gourmet efforts by both my dad and Addie. The meals were incomparable. That the hors d’oeuvres were so often the highlight was acknowledged during one superb dinner comprised entirely of delicious hors d' oeuvres.

Our parents were also avid, if not fanatical, bridge players. Both my father and Addie were Bridge Masters. There were family vacations to places in the Adirondacks. Pam and her brother would play with my brothers and me.

Pam and I are about the same age and we began our own close friendship sometime in the high school years. After we graduated from our respective universities, we spent a great deal of time eating Indian Food and generally having fun in New York City. There was a summer I drove a school bus for the YMHA of Westchester County, and on weekends I would drive that bus to the Hurst's house to have fun with Pam.

There was a period of time after college when I lived at the Hurst's. Pam and I would take the subway-bus combination from Manhattan to Rockaway, and when we arrived at her home, we always debriefed Addie on our adventures both at work and play. We often found Addie at her sewing machine, creating costumes for her annual school play.

There was an obvious deep mother-daughter bond between Addie and Pamela. Both knew the intricate details of each other's lives down to what they did, wore and ate on any given day. They would sometimes spar over some thread in the fabric of their lives, but it was good natured and seemed to bring them even closer. Pamela at a certain point began participating in the production of Addie's annual plays.

Pam delighted in her family. Once she hosted a Japanese Murder Mystery Dinner. I was honored to be invited. I don't remember who did it -- but I remember the Japanese meal was amazing! I also remember the father-daughter bond between Pam and her father, especially how he learned Portuguese along with Pam before her time abroad in Brazil. They would chatter in this foreign language.

Pam and I had similar tragedies. Both our fathers died young of diseases, and we both lost brothers tragically.

Addie began spending winters near where my mother and her second husband, Bill, spent their winters in the Tampa Bay area of southwestern Florida. Even when I lived in Arizona after marrying my own Stephen, I was fortunate to often see Pam and her family and Addie and Dan Cecil during winter visits to Anna Maria Island.

My grandfather, Gene, married Naomi, sister of my grandmother Lloyd, after Lloyd's passing. That is why it never surprised me when Addie fell in love with her own sister's husband, Dan Cecil, after sister died.

I have such vivid memories of Addie at the head of the dining room table in Rockway, a glass of whiskey and (for along time) a cigarette in front of her, smiling and laughing with pleasure as we all dined on her delicacies. Those were really such happy times for me.

My deepest condolences for the passing of this larger-than-life heroine, this guiding star of Pam's shining life. I am so sorry for your loss.

Sincerely with profound love, Laurie Merrill